I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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