1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't turn off my feet"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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