dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
4 words: hood of his car
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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