in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is wine microwaveable?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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