Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
