After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
