After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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