in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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