I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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