Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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