hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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