She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
