Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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