you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
