i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
