totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
