May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
this hospital has no fireball
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
