like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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