Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
