My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
