Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am naked and annoyed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize