Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
