walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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