we have pet lesbian snakes
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
