**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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