Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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