yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
