remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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