end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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