They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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