I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
