the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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