is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
