last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
