I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
