and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize