i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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