the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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