okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
