Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
