If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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