I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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