I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
last night I used snow as a chaser
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
