ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
