i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
