Buhtt sex?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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