There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I bet he comes in French.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
