So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
