I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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