dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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