he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
