Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you never un-have a 4some
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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