So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
