After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
