I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
