3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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