Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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