It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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