I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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