i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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