i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
