So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
