There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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