I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize