I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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