ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
